Intellectual Moms and Dads

Intellectuals have unique challenges when it comes to raising their children for Jesus. Why is this? I write this from hard-earned experience, both in my own childhood and in my parenting.

Photo by Kenny Eliason on Unsplash

I’m dealing in stereotypes that don’t apply to every intellectual, but you will recognize this creature. Many of us intellectuals have baggage from our own young adult years when we were discouraged from asking tough questions and digging into complexities. We do not want this for our kids and so we teach our young children to be “critical thinkers.”

But critical thinking, in the way I am using it, is not a virtue in children. Whether it’s a virtue in adults could be discussed. But children are naturally curious, open, and able to innocently receive the world at face value. This is why beautiful, strong, good heroes are crucial. Critical thinkers can’t have heroes. Critics seek to expose and see through other people’s beliefs. Critical thinking demands suspicion.

When intellectuals try to teach their children to be critics, they may inadvertently end up giving them x-ray vision and superpowers of dissection. They may blind children to the fragile beauty of the church and the Bible’s story. The beauty of anything is destroyed by dissecting it, and no one is beautiful on an x-ray. Gospel, church, Bible, vocation; these can all easily be dissected and made to look silly and naked.

But to see and grasp the whole fragile mystery that is the body of Christ, this is like seeing a flower or the splendour of a horse at full gallop. Children seem to love beauty almost intuitively. Let’s not disabuse them of this, even when we sometimes need to teach them to recognize when they are being lied to.

And here is another hazard of the intellectual parent: We can have a fear of enthusiasm that makes it hard to raise children for Jesus. There is nothing the intellectual spirit loathes more than enthusiasm, more even than ignorance.

Part of the spiritual gifting of the intellectual (a necessary and good gifting for the church) is the ability to stay calm and rational when others are madly fanatic about nonsense. This is why intellectuals don’t make great sports fans.

But to grow up for Jesus, children need a joyful enthusiasm about their faith. They need to delight in Jesus before they understand him. They need mountain-top experiences at camp and VBS. They need their parents to share their enthusiasm and be outwardly expressive about their love for Jesus and their church.

In my observation, intellectuals tend to believe that a slightly jaded, ironic faith is better equipped for the ambiguities of life. It pains me to recall that I sometimes dampened the fervor of my children’s faith from a misguided desire to give them the mature, adult version. But Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me” (Matthew 19:14).

Photo by Jocelyn Morales on Unsplash

Now, I say intellectuals have a difficult journey, not an impossible one. Many intellectuals are awesome parents. Here’s a suggestion. We can all cultivate an emotional faith in Jesus and a deeper intellectual insight. A Christian intellectual needs a mind on fire and a child-like faith. Let’s use our intellectual powers to see deeper into the beauty of Jesus and the church, and then share that wonder with our kids in age-appropriate ways. Stories are a great way to do this.

May our gracious Father save all his children from the foibles of their parents.