Editorial: If 71 percent of us are introverts, how do fulfill our mission to love others? One hundred little things.
Photo by Todd Trapani on Unsplash
“Loneliness—that might be the great evangelistic opportunity of our time, the great wound in the world that needs healing.”
– Dr. Meghan Larissa Good
(The Armchair Anabaptist EMC podcast, season 2, episode 1).
On the one hand, there is this great need—so many heartbreaking situations and so many lonely people. On the other hand, according to a 2019 Angus Reid poll, (A Portrait of Social Isolation and Loneliness in Canada today - Angus Reid Institute), 71 percent of Canadians are introverts, meaning most of us find it difficult to reach out to other people. That’s a tall hurdle, but let’s break it down a bit.
According to the poll, most people wanted to see more often the people they were already attached to—their family and friends. The poll also talks about the kind of loneliness where people have enough interaction with others but have nobody close enough for meaningful conversations or who would provide a sense of safety. There is a third kind of loneliness too, that is not reflected in the poll, but one that those of us who acknowledge God can identify readily enough—loneliness for God. (But that’s for another time.)
The good news is that responding to loneliness, other than the initial introduction phase, which is intimidating, is practically designed for that 71 percent of introverts. Whether of the first type (deepening an existing relationship with a family member or friend) or the second type (becoming friends with someone who has nobody close to them), both are almost entirely ministries of many little things, most of which are too normal to attract anyone’s attention.
The things that have a deep impact in another person’s life are rarely the big things, whether a great sermon, seminar or book, or even emergency care during a crisis. In fact, as important as crisis care is, there’s a real risk that people who provide this could be what a friend of mine dubbed “foul-weather friends.” They’re ready to sacrifice time heroically when a terrible thing happens but have no time for coffee, slowed-down conversation or just being in the same space in an unhurried way. And it is these things that bring steady warmth that pushes loneliness away and creates a sense of safety.
One hundred little things: a cheerful greeting, looking in a person’s eyes when they talk (or not, if the topic is too intense), sitting with them in church, laughing at their jokes, sharing your dumb jokes, praying for them and asking for prayer, talking about projects and weather and what Jesus showed us today, remembering their birthday, anniversary, times of loss, having coffee or tea together (or water if they’re healthy like that), remembering their allergies, and if they take cream in their coffee, noticing when they get a haircut or new glasses or shaved off their beard (yes, you can miss that!), being curious about the thing they’re building, baking, fixing, or knitting, and sharing your own dreams and ideas.
That wasn’t quite 100 but you get the idea—it’s about being real, being there and being interested. It’s about being like Jesus who walked everywhere and never seems to have been in much of a hurry.
God bless you as you love the people around you and are loved in return.
