My family has had our share of medical and health struggles in recent years, which we have generally been fairly open about. From my own issues dealing with seizures in 2018 to my wife being disabled for more than two years due to cancer, along with a still undiagnosed debilitating condition, our home is no stranger to intense suffering. Her ongoing health struggles have required more day-to-day family support and so we have had to make the difficult choice to step back from full-time ministry and move closer to family during this challenging season of life. Through this, we have wrestled with the Lord but also come to learn invaluable truths that I wouldn’t trade for the world.

People often place the faith of those going through such things under a microscope—which I suppose is only natural, since they want to see if the faith that was professed will hold up under the extreme stress and pressure of such circumstances. While the added pressure of public scrutiny can be exhausting at times, it also affords one the opportunity to bring to light that which may have otherwise been hidden. We also share with others a treasure of truth that would otherwise have been ours alone—though blessedly when it comes to such treasures, they are not diminished in the slightest by sharing them.

A perplexing response from Jesus

There is a story in Matthew 15:21–28, where a Gentile woman comes to Jesus, begging for Christ to deliver her daughter from some form of demonic oppression. Jesus’ response is perplexing. At first, he is silent, then finally tells her that he is called to serve God’s lost sheep, the people of Israel, adding, “It isn’t right to take food from the children and throw it to the dogs” (Matthew 15:26, NLT here and throughout). In v. 27 the woman replies, “That’s true, Lord, but even dogs are allowed to eat the scraps that fall beneath their masters’ table.” Jesus is so impressed by her faith that he grants her request for healing.

I will ignore some of the obviously troubling parts of this story and focus on something else that has often perplexed me about this whole situation: miraculous healing is talked about as scraps from the table!

I will ignore some of the obviously troubling parts of this story and focus on something else that has often perplexed me about this whole situation: miraculous healing is talked about as scraps from the table! Take a moment just to absorb that—miracles are referred to as mere scraps from the table, and Jesus commends her for it.

When one thinks about the great and mighty power of God, however, the one who created the entire world simply by speaking it into existence (see Genesis 1), this begins to make sense. God’s power and wealth are limitless! In Psalm 50:10, the Lord says, “For all the animals of the forest are mine, and I own the cattle on a thousand hills.”

When acknowledging this truth, I have long wrestled with the Lord, echoing the words of David in Psalm 13:1, “O Lord, how long will you forget me? Forever? How long will you look the other way?” When the Lord owns the cattle of a thousand hills, and when the Lord can merely speak the entire world into existence—when miraculous healings are merely scraps from God’s table—why does the Lord withhold such things from us? Why would God allow such suffering to continue for so long? We are so often told that when it is within our power to act, and we fail to do so, then we have failed through our indifference or inaction—“not to act is to act” as the saying goes. So why doesn’t God act? Why not allow a few crumbs to fall from his table to heal my family?

Salvation is no ‘scrap from the table’

Yes, these are big questions, and no, I will not answer those here—well, not really. But I have come to a sort of peace in the not-knowing. There are times when God doesn’t answer our questions, exactly, but transcends them—and I believe this is what the Lord did for my heart in this.

I was reminded that the cost of my salvation was much greater. It was no mere scrap from the table—but the cost of God’s Son, whom in that moment I pictured sitting across from us at the table.

As I was praying through these difficult and heart-wrenching questions, begging for these “scraps from the Lord’s table,” suddenly my heart and mind were drawn to another truth: the gift that the Lord has in fact given. While a miracle—a miracle—can be described as scraps from God’s table, and while the entire world came into existence merely by God saying it should be so, I was reminded that the cost of my salvation was much greater. It was no mere scrap from the table—but the cost of God’s Son, whom in that moment I pictured sitting across from us at the table.

God did not just give a speech to save my soul, or save it by giving me a piece of magic fruit. No. Our salvation was much more costly than that. To save my soul, the Lord gave the life of his Son, Jesus. Furthermore, no matter what happens in this life, I am headed to a place where “There will be no more death or sorrow or crying or pain” (Revelation 21:4). We are talking about the difference between the bowl of food scraps meant for a family pet, and the life of God’s Son. The difference in value between these two is incalculable.

What I do know

I cannot claim to understand the reasons why God does not act to miraculously heal all the sickness and sorrows of humanity by simply speaking the word. I cannot explain the reasons why some people experience miraculous healing and others do not—though I am fairly certain that mantras like, “they just need to have more faith” is merely dismissive pharisaical cruelty dressed up as theology.

What I do know is that God looked upon the dire state of humanity, and while we were still in our sin, God sent Jesus to die for us. What I do know is that God looks upon the brokenness of our world and does not desire it to be this way forever—which is why Christ is busy at work preparing a place for us as we speak. What I do know is that until this new home is ready for us and until Christ comes again to bring us there, we are waiting in a world that is still broken and hurting. And what I do know is that, even in our suffering, God can work to bring about good, to expand his kingdom, and to bring light in the darkness.

A deeper peace

So, while I continue to petition God for answers and healing for my wife, I know that this prayer is a conversation about what to do with the scraps from the table when the Lord has already given us the gift of his only begotten Son. We are learning to more deeply understand the words of Paul in 2 Corinthians 4:17–18, “For our present troubles are small and won’t last very long. Yet they produce for us a glory that vastly outweighs them and will last forever! So we don’t look at the troubles we can see now; rather, we fix our gaze on things that cannot be seen. For the things we see now will soon be gone, but the things we cannot see will last forever.”

In light of eternity, and in light of the cost of our salvation, I have come to a much deeper peace around some of these matters that used to perplex and deeply unsettle me. We still have our ups and downs, our good days and bad, but I can say with certainty that God is at work, and that while the Lord has not always answered my prayers in the ways I wish he would, the Lord has still given us far more than mere table scraps.