I WAS WRONG. Embarrassingly so. I had been working with leaders in training at a Christian camp every summer for 20 years, and I gave the wrong answer to the most basic question of all.

By now I was teaching at Wycliffe College in Toronto, with an occasional sabbatical in which to do research. I decided to track down as many of the young leaders I had known at camp as I could and find out how they were doing in their faith.

Through the internet, I tracked down 600 of the 1,200 we had worked with and sent them a questionnaire. Over 300 responded. The results produced a book, Growing Up Christian: Why Young People Stay in Church, Leave Church, and (Sometimes) Come Back to Church.

Which leads to my embarrassing mistake. The first question of the questionnaire asked people to self-identify as either (a) Christians still involved in church; or (b) Christians but not involved in church; or (c) not Christians and not involved in church. I then asked the first two groups what had kept them in the faith; 17 possibilities from which they could choose as many as they liked.

Before I tell you what I assumed I would find, let me ask you what you would guess. I bet you would choose the same answers I did—good Christian friends and older Christian mentors. Did I mention I was wrong?

So, what was the main factor inspiring people to stay with the faith? “My personal relationship with God.” Why did I think human factors would be the most important? Friends and mentors came a close second (83 percent) and third (82 percent) choice. But God came first (89 percent).

So, what was the main factor inspiring people to stay with the faith? “My personal relationship with God.” Why did I think human factors would be the most important?

This made me think. What had we taught the teenagers at camp? We had taught them the Bible; we had mentored them; we had worshipped together. But had we taught them to listen to God? Had we helped them experience the reality of God’s presence?

If I were leading a youth program now, what are some ways I might open doors for them to experience God? Here are a few:

In Bible studies, I would spend more time teaching an Ignatian approach (where you imagine yourself as a character in a Bible story) or in lectio divina (where you simply look for a word or phrase that speaks to you).

I would explain to them “the divine game of Pinzatski,” as author Murray Pura calls it—finding the character of God revealed in an aspect of creation.

I would want them to try the examen, the Ignatian idea that at the end of the day, you pause and review the “consolations” (times when God seemed near) and “desolations” (times when God seemed absent).

There are so many other things. I know, for myself, I have been helped by journaling, the eucharist, corporate worship, listening to my conscience, seeing answers to prayer, silence, and spiritual direction. And you can probably think of more.

How do young people continue as Christians? Yes, mentors and friends are indispensable. But let’s not forget the most important thing of all: learning skills for dwelling in a living relationship with God. Isn’t that why Jesus came?